The Angry Dad

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If it Ain't Broke, Keep Making Money off it

Phil Lord and Chris Miller have stolen my heart away from soft and somewhat runny French Toast. Like Champion from Parks and Rec (another acclaimed Chris Pratt vehicle), I give this movie three dog’s legs out of four. This dog will achieve locomotion, but it’ll struggle along the way.

I stay away from judging a movie based on political partisanship, the personal lives of the people involved in the movie, and whether or not it’s, in the words of many reviewers, “an obvious cash grab”. That last one doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. The job of movies is to make money. Awards are icing on the cake. They are meant to entertain. I judge a comedy movie based on how much it makes me laugh, a horror movie based on how much it scares me, an action movie on how much it excites me, a romantic comedy on how much I want to not see it (just kidding, don’t get your panties in a bunch, film genre), and a Lord/Miller movie based on how much I chortle uncontrollably.

On that metric, I’d put it 3rd in the official ranking of Lego movies (the ones released in theaters), behind The Lego Movie, The Lego Batman Movie, and before the Lego Ninjago Movie. The first two bear repeated viewings, the last was entertaining enough for what it wanted to be but nothing special. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part: Genesis: Redemption: The Re-Deadening is funny enough to bear repeated viewings but isn’t on par with the first two but is a definite step above the last.

Lord and Miller have a distinct style and are on a roll nowadays. They wrote the Lego Movies, inspired the Lego Batman movie, had their names fortuitously taken off the Han Solo movie, and wrote the unequivocally brilliant Spider-Verse movie. They seem to have the potential to reproduce what I’d like to coin as The Tom Hanks Golden 1993-2002 Touch (catchy, no? Yes, I know. No) No matter what they throw in front of me I can’t help biting. While not as proficient in depth of writing and tugging at the heart like the Pixar folks, they have found their niche in the joke-a-second style of movie-making. It’s not even the kid in me that enjoys them even more than the caramelized sugar side of Frosted Mini Wheats. Their movies are rife with grown-up references and sophisticated humor.

Particularly enjoyable is every movie under their purview having a hero or villain make a noise when they are firing a gun. The guns that shoot sharks which make munching noises elevated the Ninjago movie out of being an average movie. I get the giggles every time, and reproduce the noise when I’m goofing off with my boys. If that isn’t cultural impact, I don’t know what is.

The plot of this movie doesn’t matter. At one point, a future version of Emmet states as much when he says that they are all the figment of a teenage boy’s imagination. Possibly an autistic boy’s? Maybe there’s the chance of a Lego Movie/St. Elsewhere crossover? The insanity of this suggestion wouldn’t make these movies any sillier, let’s face it. Silly in a good way, not silly in a Green New Deal way. (Raspberries! I told myself I wouldn’t throw any politics into just this one review)

To be honest, each character’s super objective, the crazy 180 degree turns, reversals of fortune, changes of heart, and abstract form the goals take on would have the phrase “needlessly convoluted” leveled at the plot for a more serious movie (the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean come to mind). Thankfully, you just have to strap in and enjoy the ride. But it does bear mentioning that, picking up from the moment the last movie ended, it’s time for the boy and his dad (in the live action scenes) to include the younger sister in their playtime. The conflict for the Lego toys centers on the boy not wanting female influence on his playtime. Mayhem ensues.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter. Enjoying it does. But, speaking of mayhem, this movie is sadly, found lacking. In their best work, (Spider-Verse included) Lord and Miller throw absolutely everything at you in an attempt to test the laughing muscles of your body against your desire to not miss a thing. Repeated viewings of their work at home with the subtitles is part of the fun. The zany blink-and-you’ll-miss it energy is less pronounced in this film’s action sequences. Not entirely gone, but not emphasized. In place are more sustained sight gags and longer cuts. I understand that one has to account for the aging of its audience, but I’m an adult and I am wishing for more of what put these guys on the map and sets them apart from the pack.

The English teacher in me can’t help griping about the proclivity in this and other kids’ movies to spell out the theme for the audience during the climax. You know what I’m talking about. The action slows down. There’s a soft, tender moment of contemplation and reflection for the hero/villain, and a heartwarming message is purveyed through emotional dialogue. I make my students read a piece of literature and use their discernment to glean the theme. I must sigh and accept my gripe as a modern version of Aesop’s Fables, understanding that most kids won’t make an attempt to consider the themes of their own accord. The theme of this work is squarely aimed at those common folk and leaders among us who divide us with labels and needless conflict. Since this is a work of Hollywood, it’s probably more precisely aimed at Republicans (Constarnit, I did it again!). Anyway, check your political biases at the political biases coat check, making sure to tip your political biases coat check attendant after the show. They’ve earned it.