Let's convince Democrats that wearing masks is cultural appropriation
The end of the pandemic is so close we can feel it, taste it, touch it, smell it, violate its territorial bubble, make things really weird by not addressing it, and let it linger in heavy air. We here at Thirsty for Clicks are just as eager as you to go back to complaining and arguing about the normal things in life and so we’ve formulated a plan because we are nothing if not a source of good ideas.
Every time a power-drunk governor makes a new mask mandate, you are refused service in a retail store, or a leftist Karen busybody minds your business for you, tell them you refuse to participate in cultural appropriation. Say something along the lines of:
“It would be insensitive for me to don anything approximating a burka, and we all know you wouldn’t dream of offending Muslims.”
Let’s all declare a jihad on white supremacy…and “let’s declare a jihad on ______ jokes”.
“I’m not a ninja and you’re not a rival clan that has offended my clan by stealing our master’s sacred soul energy sword, so pound sand.”
Hook ‘em horns. Oh you didn’t know? This is the newer, cooler way to do that.
“When I decide to switch careers to a cattle-rustling, stagecoach-robbing, Native American-murdering cowboy, I’ll let you know. Mm-kay? Mm-kay. Oh, you still want to argue? I didn’t know you were so pro-Native American genocide, murderer!”
I reckon this continent ain’t big enough for the two of us ethnicities.
“Last time I checked, the job of horribly scarred, foul-mouthed, wisecracking anti-hero with a rapid healing factor superpower and heart of gold was already filled, but leave your resume at reception and HR will hold onto it for ninety days. Thanks and buh-bye.”
What can I say here that would be funnier than what this guy has already said? Nothing. That’s what.
“Let me be the first to congratulate you on your dragon dancer role in the next Chinese Lantern Festival! I didn’t know they allowed Caucasians into that whole thing. Which part of the dragon are you?”
My, what loud color schemes you have!
And so on. Any one of these gems will automatically kick in their white guilt and make them feel super gross. Watching them slink away will be the icing on the cake. Weak logic, you say? Imagine how conservatives feel when confronted by logic from the left.
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Surgical mask photo taken from:
https://www.azdisabilitylaw.org/acdl-asks-az-mayors-to-consider-face-mask-exceptions-during-covid-19-crisis/
Burka photo taken from:
https://www.arabicattire.com/products/islamic-veil-burka-niqab
Ninja mask photo taken from:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/615724893/ninja-hood-80s-movies-vintage-style?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_c-accessories-costume_accessories-costume_hats_and_headpieces&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjw6qqDBhB-EiwACBs6xwfBjcgP1Mrz5YbY_1z6s8MFQ4cT6HUjopS32RTR6bZNuo_-00nqyRoCP50QAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_12569400142_119179546043_507342588606_pla-353009141439_c__615724893_120794176&utm_custom2=12569400142&gclid=CjwKCAjw6qqDBhB-EiwACBs6xwfBjcgP1Mrz5YbY_1z6s8MFQ4cT6HUjopS32RTR6bZNuo_-00nqyRoCP50QAvD_BwE
Cowboy mask photo taken from:
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fgraphicriver.img.customer.envatousercontent.com%2Ffiles%2F265197288%2Fpreview.jpg%3Fauto%3Dcompress%252Cformat%26q%3D80%26fit%3Dcrop%26crop%3Dtop%26max-h%3D8000%26max-w%3D590%26s%3D3e9b1c77e56fbb455b47b312576c4986&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fgraphicriver.net%2Fitem%2Fcowboy-head-bandit-mask-bandana-sketch-engraving%2F23855029&tbnid=haKKgEwbReIH2M&vet=12ahUKEwjT1fb51efvAhWPZq0KHfZCDJkQMygAegUIARDAAQ..i&docid=lrrL6GEWd49KyM&w=590&h=590&q=cowboy%20in%20bandit%20mask&safe=strict&ved=2ahUKEwjT1fb51efvAhWPZq0KHfZCDJkQMygAegUIARDAAQ
Deadpool image taken from:
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimage-cdn.hypb.st%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fhypebeast.com%252Fimage%252F2020%252F11%252Fdisney-marvel-deadpool-3-molyneux-sisters-writers-001.jpg%3Fquality%3D95%26w%3D1170%26cbr%3D1%26q%3D90%26fit%3Dmax&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fhypebeast.com%2F2020%2F11%2Fdisney-marvel-deadpool-3-molyneux-sisters-writers&tbnid=5rS28kzRgTScoM&vet=12ahUKEwjy-Kut1ufvAhVNRawKHSGCAekQMygCegUIARDjAQ..i&docid=Z8LT0PfTIJ5iXM&w=1170&h=780&q=deadpool&safe=strict&ved=2ahUKEwjy-Kut1ufvAhVNRawKHSGCAekQMygCegUIARDjAQ
Dragon image taken from:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_dance