American people to consider common-sense government control reforms
President American People sat down with Thirsty for Clicks recently for a candid take on what’s happening in politics lately. No hot topic was off the table, up to and including spring fashion at the Oscars. Take at look at what was said.
“Mr./Miss/Madam. President, we’d like to thank you for sitting down with us today.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
“Yes it is.”
“That’s a weird thing to say.”
“What do you think about what’s happening nowadays?”
“What do you mean?”
“Just in general. I had a late night arguing with the missus and didn’t really prepare. You’re the American people and it’s your dime. Talk.”
“Wow, okay. Well, my subordinates in Washington and on the local level are really messing up and not staying in their lane lately. They call themselves my leaders but couldn’t lead a starving man to a buffet. They constantly scold me for being racist but say things like ‘Black people don’t have internet or can’t figure out how to make it to the DMV to obtain a state ID’. They talk about being patriarchy and treating women as equals, and then get caught up in scandals where they’ve used their power to obsessively chase tail. They tell us they’re here for us and one of us but their creepy alliance with out-of-touch, woke, sermonizing Hollywood types would strongly suggest otherwise. They call for the abolishment of police systems to get social media points on Twitter but don’t realize how tone-deaf and stupid they sound. Not to mention that this would be a disastrously losing proposition as the overwhelming majority of myself supports the existence and work of police. And don’t get me started on this pandemic!”
“All right, I won’t get you st—”
“You’ve just gotten me started. They’re complicit in the deaths of so many nursing home residents, but have engaged in so many subtle and not-so-subtle power grabs over the last year which inconvenience and hold me under sway, all the while engaging in those very activities they tell me to avoid. And when they get called on it by investigative reporting, they have the stones to say “No comment”, or “I was talking about” and then proceed to play semantics or split hairs or deflect to what someone in the other party is doing. And their mandates/protocols/decrees, whatever you want to call them! Wildly inconsistent and which expose their financial biases. They’ll shut down restaurants and bars because those are small businesses but not liquor stores and airports because airlines and the booze industry have tremendous financial clout and lobbying power. It’s maddening. And then showing up at my doorstep to see how many people have come over for Thanksgiving? I mean, why do we even have this country if we don’t have individual liberties and autonomy? I know that it’s worse a lot of other places, but it can get like that here so long as they are slowly but steadily chipping away at the concept of lawful self-government and self-determination. Oh yeah, the hypocrisy of living in gated communities, working in heavily guarded buildings, erecting barriers around their ceremonies, and living their entire lives with badass soldiers armed with state-of-the-art weapons while telling me that they are considering taking guns away from me, all the while disingenuously acting like background checks don’t already exist? I just don’t know about these folks. I thought I could control them when I designated them into various roles, but too many of them are going too far, and they’re not much more than a small jump from those who want to ban guns altogether. I know that many of these politicians don’t want to outright ban guns, but at this point, I can’t help but be suspicious of them all, as I can’t look into their hearts. I’m the American people. I should not be afraid of my government. My government should be afraid of me, or at least afraid of the hassle and trouble that would entail if they tried to oppress me. And their idea that we can fix mental health with education? Excuse the sentence fragment. WRONG! We are not sick. We are sinful. These guys who go shooting up public places have had years of human life and its sacred nature being degraded in all manner of ways and from a lot of different directions, up to and including the marginalization and removal of fathers from importance in the home. They don’t just need some pills to stay on the level. They needed to be taught character, discipline, self-control, and morality from a young age and weren’t. Maybe throw in a good ole’ fashion butt-whooping and you’ve got some of the ingredients to a moral adult. But that’s just me spit-balling. I’m just American People, you know. No one important.”
“So what do you plan to do about all this instead of just sitting there bitching and moaning?”
“I’m sorry, are you doing a bit? I’ve never met such a salty reporter.”
“I’m just going through a tough time with my wife. She wants to combine Facebook accounts and have her name first. I’m not sure about combining and certainly not sure about having her name first. I have my dignity. I know we’re married and all, but that seems like a big step in a relationship. Plus, most of the people I know who do that are slutty folks who don’t trust each other to have a separate account.”
“I’m not part of that problem or the solution so I don’t know why you’re taking it out on me.”
“I don’t know either. I guess you’re just an easy target.”
“Tell me about it. Hollywood woke-scolds wag their fingers at me for being ‘racist’ but look at their shows and movies! Denzel and a couple others are allowed to play characters and humans in Hollywood. All the other African-American actors have to play black characters and black humans. And usually those black characters are either sassy or scary, and not long-lived in horror movies. Don’t believe me? Wait how long it takes their characters to say something like “I’m black, so__________” and what follows is some sort of stereotypical blanket description of black people. Hollywood doesn’t see black people as a diverse people of individuals. They see black people as a group and that’s—what’s that one buzzword—problematic. They even have a show called Black-ish where what makes them black-ish is that the family is intact with two parents, a nice home, good jobs, stay out of legal trouble, and pay their bills on time. I mean, am I the only one seeing this? Am I just going crazy here?”
“I don’t know, maybe. You kind of droned on for a while there. Back to my question of what you intend to do about it.”
“Well, if you mean politicians, that’s an easy answer. We need common-sense government control reforms. We need career politicians term-limited out and forced to get real jobs. We need a “does this infringe on a reasonable and intelligent person’s ability to order their life” laws, and scaling back of programs that were formed with the assumption that we’re too stupid to run out own lives. We need them to stop picking at the low-hanging and racist fruit of pandering to minorities and demonizing Caucasians. We need them to talk to each other when they have conflicts and deals to settle, not about each other to their Twitter audiences. We need them to stop justifying and rationalizing the unlawful actions of certain groups and segments ideologically in bed with them while condemning the actions of those opposed to them. We need them to stop calling for radical changes to my society when they’ve taken a cushy job away from my society. We need them to back up, take a breath, and come to peace with leaving us alone so long as we abide by the law. I’m thinking about giving them a taste of their own medicine and circumventing the legislation process with a whole mess o’ executive firings. We need them to…are you texting your wife!?”
“Yeah, she’s really letting me have it. Is that what texting is really for? I don’t typically use it to build a relationship or repair a damaged one. I think it’s kind of cowardly. Don’t tell her that, though. I’d be in soooooo much trouble.”
“You want to grab a drink? I can see your head’s not in this particular game.”
“Your treat.”
“Yes. I’m American People after all. If I’m anything, I’m generous.”
Hey there, beloved reader! Don’t stop reading yet. I enjoy writing and creating content for you, but I don’t get paid to do it just yet. Recently, I took on the Herculean task of fixing America and wrote a book on the subject; the very literal-titled “I’ll Fix America Tonight”. There is a a link where you can conveniently add the book to your Amazon cart (if you’re flush with about $20 in cash right now) or your wish list (if around $20 in cash is a little too much right now, but hypothetically not too much in the near future). Buy it, and help end poverty (namely my poverty). Thanks for reading!
AR-15 Image taken from:
https://www.gunsandammo.com/editorial/self-defense-ar15/372251
