People with no jobs taking maternity leave to get away from doing nothing
OMGosh-diggity, it’s supes exhausting getting nothing done. You ever woke up late, had some breakfast, went back to bed, wake up to take a leak an hour later, decided to take a nap, figured taking a late-evening shower was accomplishing enough for the day, then decided to hit the rack? That’s what it’s got to be like every day for Mr. Royal-not-a-Royal, along with his wife and babies (whether or not they are royals is a gray area that we shouldn’t really care about but do for some reason). And now that they’ve had a second baby that will probably keep their nanny on her toes, they’ve decided to take maternity leave and get even less than nothing done. I’m going to need a mathematician to reteach negative integers to me in order to delve into that equation any farther.
Prince Harry and his D-list celebrity wife have been paid millions of dollars to produce about thirty-five minutes worth of content on Spotify. It took some doing, but I was able to have a thirty-five minute conversation with my teenager the other day, and these are grown adults we’re talking about! They’ve been paid tons of money to be invited to Oprah’s back yard and complain about the trailer park nonsense that goes on with the royal family. As if a nation specifically founded on the action of kicking out an Old World monarchy is supposed to care that some real life rich folks who speak fancy and wave at events have effed up family dynamics. We’ve got Downton Abbey for that. I mean, didn’t we fight a war to keep the royals out of our bid-ness? I read that in my grade school history book which I’m sure has since been debunked by the 1619 Project and all its awfulness.
Prince H-Dawg has been paid to go on tedious and unnecessary podcasts done by celebrities who desperately want to remind us they still exist and talk about being cut off financially by said family. As if being an almost forty year old man relying on your parents is something to be proud about. Meanwhile, Meghan pontificates about mental health, white supremacy, and other leftist hobbyhorses all while probably spending most of the day in her mansion wearing sweatpants and keeping her hair in a ponytail. They must not know there are direct correlations between working a steady career and higher levels of mental health. The lazy, listless life of the wealthy does not mental health create, so I’ve got a solution for these two kiddos. I’ve got some rosebushes that need pruning and a car on blocks in my backyard that could use some TLC if they want something to do. Chop chop, folks. Harry Potter won’t magic your mental health all better and those rain gutters aren’t going to clean themselves of last year’s rotting leaves.
Maybe if we seized some of their money they’d be forced to work jobs like the rest of us non-royal-non-gorgeous-non-privileged slobs. I’m a capitalist and therefore not a fan of taking others’ stuff, but seizing the wealth of a royal? Totally in bounds. For you see, being a royal means a couple things that are ever so much crap. Long ago, someone with a little bit of land, a little bit of money, and a few men who would wage battle in exchange for money decided they wanted more money, land, and men. So they duped the uneducated people living near them into believing that God had birthed them with the divine right to rule and tax, then took some money, land, and men from the next guy who had a little bit of each, telling the people their victory happened because it was God’s will. You do this enough times, you can convince an entire nation and its culture that you’re of divine lineage, which is exactly what happened. Along the way, some of these folks enslaved the sons and daughters of Africa. They totally made good on it years later, but still. That doesn’t help the ones who died being enslaved. Fast forward a few hundred years and someone named John totally screwed things up for his kids by signing a document that severely limited his power. Few hundred years more, and Johnny-take-my-power’s descendants have no more than figurehead power and are basically paid to appear at things. Think rich heiresses in America but with more dignity and fewer sex tapes. So, if we want to talk about white privilege stemming from historic racism and slavery, there’s at least one family whose wealth we can trace back to all that bad stuff but y’all not ready for that conversation, I guess.
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Image taken from:
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a35520758/meghan-markle-prince-harry-second-baby-royal-title/
