Whatever happened to 'Get a life!'?
We seriously need to bring that popular phrase back into the mix. William Shatner said it on Saturday Night Live in 1986 to a room full of Star Trek nerds. As I was growing up, people who wanted the uninvited to stay out of their business repeated it often and loudly. Cannot the whole world shout that to the…whole world right about now and it be applicable?
What is this inclination to get caught up in the lives and business of others? Isn’t the evil of the day sufficient thereof? Case in point; the Free Britney movement. Britney’s got tens of millions of dollars, a hunky boyfriend many years her junior who spends time between posting naked photos of her on Instagram thinking about posting naked photos of her on Instagram, takes frequent trips to Hawaii, has millions of gushing fans, and seemingly consults with strippers on the best way to put her intellect on display. This is someone who needs to be freed? I know there are other factors that she’d like to personally control here, but my goodness, sign me up for her particular form of oppression.
Of more cultural import is the idea that I can “free” her by posting a meme or hashtag. What’s even weirder is the idea that I need to get mixed up in her life at all. I’ve got bills to pay. is she part of that problem or the solution? If I post a hashtag can I solve her problem? So long as she makes catchy music and dances well, I don’t need anything more from her.
Same with other weird celebrities. If they stay within the boundaries of the law and make good art, I’m cool. I don’t need to like them as people to appreciate their art. Nor do I need to boycott their art if they fall short of my personal moral stances. Their opinions, ways, means, and preferred seaweed wrap treatments are none of my business and don’t effect my opinion on what they add to the entertainment aggregate. Here are some examples of celebrity controversies:
Tom Cruise raised the ire of the cancel crowd in its amoeba phase by talking about Brooke Shields and her postpartum depression. He makes good action movies, runs fast, and does his own stunts. Making dumb statements about diet, exercise, and childbirth are beyond what I need from him and don’t affect my thrill at seeing him actually fly helicopters and airplanes. He can keep his mouth shut on women’s issues and be thought a fool, or open his mouth and remove all doubt. As long as his artistic output maintains a certain level of enjoyable quality, I can separate the star from the fool.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has issues with sleeping with coworkers and raising secret families. He’s not my moral compass, so if he continues to use dumb one-liners in dumb but enjoyable action movies, I’m good.
Ellen DeGeneres apparently is a doozy of a boss. If we have a free market where people are able to choose their employment situation and only be exploited when/how/to what degree they choose, why does it matter if she’s of the don’t-talk-to-me-before-OR-after-my-coffee ilk?
Johnny Depp was kicked off of several movies because when there’s a breakup, it’s our society’s factory default to blame the man. Surprise! He was also smacked around by his lovely bride, who continues to enjoy gainful employment. Chalk their relationship up to one similar to Mr. and Mrs. Smith and try to not less of both of them when you see one in public. I don’t care to remove him from movies nor particularly advance her in movies. I want both of them to have a job and gainful employment.
Tom Brady and Brett Favre have engaged in (feel free to gasp) womanizing; one of them while being married. I know it comes as a surprise, them being sports superstars and all. They throw a football well and can read a crafty defense. Just like Ahhhnold, they aren’t my moral compasses or heroes so they can be cheered on the field while I refuse to hate them or support what they do off it. Favre’s wife was dying of cancer at the time. My twin brother died of cancer. I know what a terrible ordeal it is. But I don’t get my answers from Wrangler Jeans spokesmen when it comes time to cope with life’s trials, so I was able to continue watching him beat up on my Detroit Lions for years after that without my rage at his continued existence causing me blindness.
See what I’m getting at here? A celebrity’s life isn’t my own, and I’ve got very little information to go on when making a moral judgment about it. Basically, what they are others close to them choose to reveal. Even then, I’ve got the laborious task of figuring out if I’m being lied to or subject to a devious agenda. When you disengage completely and compartmentalize, you can enjoy their craft, art, and cultural output without it having to be about them as a person.
This even goes for a celebrity who has stepped outside the bounds of the law. In my book (link below) I argue that while I’d probably not have OJ Simpson over for dinner, I’m at peace with him being free because he was found innocent in the eyes of the law. We’ve exhausted all legal, ethical, and moral measures at that point. We have to trust that a legal system run by humans is going to make mistakes and have corners which are corrupt. If we glibly declare that our legal system is irreparably corrupt and unjust, we are faced with the burdensome task of offering a solution/replacement. I’d like to think our justice system gets it right most of the time, especially when considering the staggering volume of crimes Americans commit.
I’m not going to tell LeBron James to shut up and dribble, nor am I obligated to agree with his politics and stoking of racial fires if I do enjoy what he brings to the court (which I do). Telling an intelligent, thoughtful, fellow image-bearer of God to shut up and do just the one thing they get paid for is a pretty haughty thing. And it ignores the fact that we all engage in political, scientific, religious, propositional, relational, and symbolic speech whenever we choose. The only difference is LeBron has a public voice and is a public figure. That doesn’t mean he automatically earns my disdain. It’s insidiously obnoxious to enjoy my autonomy while smugly denying him his. Those who listen to him don’t need my protection from his ideas, nor do I need to look at his followers as if they were my charges. So long as someone isn’t hurting or stealing from others, they can say what they will, when they will. Why is this such a hard concept? Why are everyone else’s kids my problem now that we have this abomination of a thing called social media ruling our lives?
Celebrities in my formative years were worried about overexposure, to be sure. I’m inclined to believe that the movies of superstars like Cruise (having learned his lesson), Russell Crowe, and Will Smith are enjoyed on a wider scale because these fellas eschew overexposure while lesser stars who fade faster and land less desirable roles get caught up in Twitter feuds and the other manifestations the icky swamp of public discourse has become.
I have rules for my social media usage that I’ve put on record before today. I don’t put my personal business on Facebook and other outlets. Other people don’t typically genuinely care, nor do they need to care. I don’t put personal drama with others out there because that’s just my side of the story, and you know what they say about every story. I don’t pile on when someone airs their baby daddy’s dirty laundry because I’m coming in with limited information again, and doing so appeals to the side of myself I’m not really fond of. I don’t cancel folks who disagree with or treat me poorly as a rule. I don’t like mess with others’ ability to have a job and making wages because taking a man’s ability to earn a living is akin to murdering him, as Dave Chappelle so deftly stated in his latest special.
I have left one negative review on Google after being treated really poorly by a local lawn equipment dealer, and I regretted doing it. Because what am I really doing? I’m assuming that one brief snapshot of a moment in time represents them as a person, and telling others that person doesn’t deserve continued business. I don’t like that, but maybe I’m biased because I’m a businessman and others have put negative reviews on my name as well. As concerns Yelp and whatever other weirdly-named apps out there that curate and aggregate reviews, I default to my mama’s maxim of “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Britney was at the forefront of a pop movement that made shallow, catchy music and separated those from their money who liked shallow, catchy music. I didn’t spend money on her and her contemporaries, but I did sing along when their music came on the radio. I’m secure enough in my manhood to admit that. I’m not going to judge her, her lawyers, her judges, her family, or anyone else at odds/in cahoots with her because I’m not a part of any of that select group of carbon units. Making a judgment entails picking a side. That in turn entails opening yourself up to looking a fool when more facts or the truth is uncovered. It’s a fruitless enterprise with very little discernible upside. What’s worse is that so many of us dogmatically stick to the side we’ve picked when the truth emerges, having adopted an unteachable and uncorrectable spirit.
How brittle a people have we become that we can’t abide the thought of someone making a Marvel movie a feminist tentpole or not loving our country’s national anthem quite as much as we do? How codependent have we become, rationalizing our own poor behavior with the poorer behavior of someone else? Does not the next person’s standing as a human being have dignity inherently built in, and cannot they be allowed to exist and earn a living in their divergent and varied thought, no matter how foolish?
I’ve got my own problems. My problems are not Britney’s, nor are hers mine. She’s paid to be pretty and sing bubblegum pop. I know that going in, and entanglements in her life are just bound to distract me from my primary life goals. In short I should get a life if I ever feel the need to get caught up in one so privileged and unattached to mine as hers.
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Image taken from:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/breaking-britney-spears-instagram-account-24985836
