I’m woke, and that means something. Words mean nothing nowadays unless I say they mean something.
All in satire
That was a weird gender reveal party
China’s not too down with baby girls, so we can reasonably guess the gender.
(satire) Amerikkka can't even do racism right
I think we can all agree America wants brown folks to suffer.
Jennifer Lawrence uses her witch powers to retcon feminist film history
I hope Jen doesn’t rewrite all of human history after this.
(satire) Fascism is one way to unite a country
Our beloved presi-unc chooses what MAGA Republicans are.
She/her pronouns feeling conflicted about taking Demi Lovato back
This smacks of total desperation.
(Satire) White supremacy to blame for more black babies being born
I do know this, a national abortion ban will mean more black babies being born, and we simply can’t have that.
Trump has so much new Twitter wisdom to impart on us
I’ve been frantically searching for a reason to live since Trump was de-platformed.
Even Thomas Jefferson thinks Biden's black woman fetish is weird
Something didn’t…well, almost everything about Joe Biden doesn’t sit right with me.
Equity program has gov't sharing their stash with other crackheads
I wish I was as good at writing jokes as Democrats are at writing them for me.
PM Trudeau disappointed that a free people would demand freedom
Do a people who elected him really have the right to gainsay him every time he steps on their freedoms?
Socialism's matriarch has had just about enough of the sass-back
I am mad I can’t date AOC. Mad as heckerdoodles.
(satire) CNN stakeholders now poorer than the people they lie to
They rejected the idea of a PBS-esque pledge drive out of hand. Proof they’ve still got their dignity intact.
COVID supply chain issues halting delivery of justice to sexual criminals
Maybe Keanu Reeves is hiding all the justice in the empty space between his ears.
POTUS consulting with mobsters on strongarm tactics for COVID vaccine
Biden’s vaccine mandate for private companies of one hundred or more employees has died once, been resurrected, and then died a second time in the courts.
(satire) Australians barred from telling the world how wonderful it is there
The forced search-and-seizure of firearms has worked out so well for them.
Untelevised Golden Globes only awards show with some self-awareness
Who wants to spend their time reassuring the vain and insecure?
Hey Idiot! Laugh at our preachy and condescending movie this instant
You’re wasting your life away in flyover country.