(satire) Australians barred from telling the world how wonderful it is there
It’s a wonder to me that so many American gun owners insist on keeping their guns; the forced search-and-seizure of firearms having worked out for the citizenry of Australia and other Free Speech Lite (just one calorie of free speech, if you can believe it!) countries.
News reports have come out claiming the unvaccinated in Australia have to take pictures of themselves going stir crazy in their homes, are subject to losing government unemployment benefits, and now aren’t allowed to go exercise in local parks. There are news reports which counter these claims so who knows what the truth is? Of course, when the government pulls a Putin and seizes/places undue pressure on/threatens the families of news outlets, one has to filter through the news and glean what one thinks is the truth, particularly when the people in power tell us everything is A-OKAY! What reason or motive do they have to lie to us? Don’t be silly. You’re silly, that’s what you are. That’s almost as silly as taking your California-based business to a place where they’re not so in your grill about anything and everything.
With their not-so-chill intrusive and pushy government banning the citizens from even telling the world how wonderful it is to live there as the weekly “Just because” whippings keep things in perspective, I guess America and the rest of the cool kids can’t count on the Aussies to be an ally in the eventual war with China that’s definitely and inevitably coming once the soft and complacent people of America decide enough is enough. It’s a shame. We really could have used some of that colorful, berserker fighting insanity on full display in the Mad Max films (I’m American, so movies are reality to me). We might could ask New Zealand to join our roundtable based solely on the fact that Australia is against us. Watching those barrel-chested Maori rugby players do their pre-match war chant makes me ashamed to call myself a man.
And we might not have some other heretofore allies. Canada and their racist Prime Minister from an end of the political spectrum that likes to call others racist so as to deflect attention from their racism won’t push their chips into that conflict unless there’s a Democrat in office here so y’all know to keep Rip Van Biden in office next election cycle. We need those Canucks to politely fight for us with weaponized hockey sticks, curling brooms, moose antlers, explosive maple syrup, polish pastors, and other Canadian clichés.
It’s a shame, really. I wanted to visit Australia but am unvaccinated and don’t want to have to shout “UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!” as I go from town-to-town, seeing the sights, comparing knife sizes with strangers, and kickboxing kangaroos (bucket list item #153, right after uncovering and bringing to justice all those involved in the illegal Hollywood aborted fetus meat trade some wacko on a podcast told me definitely exists). Guess I’ll have to settle for visiting Cuba (heard the cigars and not exercising self-determination are to die for), Venezuela (heard the stray dog stew is to die for), Greece (heard the lack of jobs is to die for), France (heard the absence of Jews and ongoing strife between Muslims and everyone else are to die for), or some other such socialist paradise (heard the free everything and astronomical taxes are to die for).
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Image taken from:
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/11/20/thousands-take-to-australia-streets-over-covid-19-measures-jabs
