It's been about 30 seconds since LeBron's gotten some attention
LeBron James is a basketball player I’ve very much enjoyed watching for years and one of the most giving humanitarians out there. Education as a whole and the the failing public system in particular are issues I care deeply about. LeBron has given heaps of money to start, fund, and maintain private charter schools for disadvantaged youths in his hometown area. On top of that, he’s pledged money in a number higher than I can even think of to send them to college. He’s also a standup family man who has never gotten in trouble with the law and doesn’t have kids in every city containing an NBA franchise. So, I really do hate making fun of this guy. But I’m going to do it because I’m as thirsty for clicks as the next blogging attention whore.
Maybe one of the youths educated at his school can enlighten him on the wonderful things books contain beyond their first page. Boom. Roasted. First of many.
For you see, he has to get his philanthropy money from somewhere. Top level NBA talent won’t last forever. One can safely presume he moved to LA in the downturn of his career so as to do more movies, Space Jam being ample evidence of said supposition. Now, he’s not the first person to make an unfunny movie for kids so backed up with product/corporate partnership placement waste material its metaphorical teeth are floating. But someone at some point could have said “Hey, seems like being funny has gotten lost in the moneygrubbing mix” but that person probably would have been summarily fired and canceled because LeBron loves punching down on Twitter.
So if the weak kids movie franchise plan doesn’t pan out, what next? I don’t think the black guy/white guy buddy cop comedy thing has been done before…in the last five minutes. He was born with a winning genetic lottery ticket but does have a receding hairline because there is a God and He built checks and balances into nature, so maybe he could be the wizened, grumpy, gruff one with a teenage daughter who’s growing up too fast for his tastes and a wife who’s always on his case and an ache in his back he just can’t shake. But he doesn’t vibe with cops (see link above) so guys like me would probably point out his movie choice hypocrisy because we’re thirsty for clicks.
He’s also quite limited as an actor and really should rethink that career direction because he’d be taking jobs away from more capable actors of color, missing out on their chance to be wisecracking, sassy, scary, or die early in a horror flick because Hollywood has always had an iffy relationship with race and hasn’t yet figured out that black men other than Denzel, Morgan, and Lawrence should make more hay playing human characters than they do playing black characters. I’ve never written a blog about Black-ish but don’t even understand how they can get away with implying a family only approximates being black (as denoted by the idiomatic suffix “-ish”) when they have a stable, two parent home and middle class living. I guess maybe because it’s Hollywood and it’s their job to call others racist, not vice versa.
Enter China. King James can parlay his endorsements and fantastic NBA career to oodles of cheddar for years to come so long as China’s not-that-chill-when-it-comes-to-human-rights-but-always-flush-with-cash leaders are invited to the barbecue. They will continue to fund his humanitarian efforts and might throw in a hovering house made of gold flecked, caramelized unicorn tears so long as he doesn’t offend them, speak his mind, criticize them, apologizes for any sass back, checks his attitude even when he disagrees with them, honors them, reveres them, signs over his parental rights to them, avoids eye contact with them, curtseys demurely in a French maid’s dress as he dismisses himself from the room, and doesn’t say anything untoward in his waking or sleeping life because Big Brother was the hero of 1984, right? Right? Guys? Where’d you go? Back to America where they let you be what you’d like and say what you want? Gross. LeBron’s gonna stay here and play the desperate stripper role when they make it rain in his direction.
I’ve argued that it’s actually a good thing when America-hating athletes badmouth America because in a land of unfettered free speech, you can trust what people are saying, be it ever so moronic. The foolishness of their feelings and logic are immaterial if we’re arguing the multitudinous merits of free speech. The solution to dumb free speech is more free speech, not policing dumb speech and making us practice Diet Free Speech. I know they’re speaking from the heart—which, yes, may have deceived them—and really mean what they’re saying. I don’t trust the nervous, saccharine-sweet, completely devoid of criticism, I’m-really-just-protecting-my-family speech of an athlete from a free-speech optional country because, well, I have my eyes open and would consider myself pretty well aligned with reality. Saddam Hussein’s sons were known to torture and murder Olympic athletes who didn’t bring home the gold. I doubt such a threat has passed the perma-pursed lips of Donald Trump.
Moving on. Enes Kanter isn’t down to clown with China’s horrific and genocidal treatment of the Uyghurs and his disapproval was in turn disapproved of by LeBron; self-appointed face and mouth of The Association and their Chinese masters. Said masters disapproved to the point of revoking the Boston Celtics’ TV contract because real life is becoming so exaggerated I’m not sure I’ll have a job as a satirist much longer. I can imagine Kanter’s teammates being like “It’s always one knucklehead who ruins it for EVERYBODY! Couldn’t you just swallow your moral repulsion and take the money?!?!”
I mean, who doesn’t enjoy racist and hypersensitive government overlords controlling their free speech with the threat of playing “here you go…PSYCHE!!!” with their shekels if one doesn’t stay in their rhetorical lane? Isn’t being thin-skinned paramount to running a country anyway? After all, aren’t words ever so much more effective at breaking bones than sticks and stones?
Were the predominantly Muslim Uyghurs to emigrate to America and were a Republican to look at them, breathe the same air, or opine on their plight and future in our country, I’ve no doubt LeBron’s Twitter tongue would wag more fiercely than the tail of a golden retriever whose human just returned home from the war. But emigrating to this capitalist hell-scape would entail the Uyghurs having the liberty to exist and move around as they please and China’s leaders just aren’t having that. People’s Republic, indeed.
Upon being prodded for a response to Kanter’s criticism, LeBron said he wouldn’t dignify the chatter so someone else can create an opportunity for themselves. LeBron should be the guy on the bridge of a starship under attack who yells “Take evasive action!” because that was a duck-and-cover sort of answer. Create an opportunity? Now I know B-level celebrities troll A-level stars so they can get eyeballs looking in their direction. Michael Moore has made a career of ambushing people at unawares. I know that Twitter feuds are good for both sides because each side’s acolytes crave conflict and drama (feel free to barf with me). But Kanter is trying to help stop the genocide of a poor and oppressed people by a dictatorial and super-creepy regime. He’s not looking to sell shoes and jumpstart a movie career (Dr. LeBron to the burn unit. Dr. LeBron to the burn unit). Even were you to not count China’s forced abortions as killing humans, their human rights violations are hall of fame level.
This story came on my radar a couple years ago when Disney was filming the crappy and unnecessary live-action remake Mulan and China was all “Oh, are those people with the funny hats in your way? Nothing a few bullets and Asian trail of tears won’t fix!”. It came on my radar as Christian friends, churches, and organizations asked other Christians to pray and donate to help ease the suffering of these poor folks. That doesn’t really track with the political left and mainstream media’s (basically the same folks, I know) characterization of Christians, now does it? Funny thing about true Christians. They believe all human life is sacred and don’t care for the religious and political differences that divide us into groups when it comes to things like oppression, genocide, and good ‘ol fashioned denial of human rights. In fact, we befriend, love, trade with, and compassionate to just about anyone, even if they aren’t suffering at the hands of others. Remember that the next time you’re watching a movie portraying us all as hateful, screeching harpies.
But this isn’t about Christians. This is about the Uyghurs and LeBron’s seeming utter disdain for them and their hardships. Keep counting your blood money, King James. Those pangs of conscience can easily be suppressed with a bling-encrusted particle accelerator and cherry-flavored teleportation pod.
Hey there, beloved reader! Don’t stop reading yet. I enjoy writing and creating content for you. Recently, I took on the Herculean task of fixing America and wrote a book on the subject; the very literal-titled “I’ll Fix America Tonight”. There is a a link where you can conveniently add the book to your Amazon cart (if you’re flush with about $20 in cash right now) or your wish list (if around $20 in cash is a little too much right now, but hypothetically not too much in the near future). Buy it, and help end poverty (namely my poverty). Thanks for reading!
Image taken from:
https://www.opencourt-basketball.com/enes-kanter-claims-lebron-james-was-the-one-who-walked-right-by-him-amid-recent-feud/
