Biden's patience is wearing thin; he's this close to turning the car around
“We’ve been patient. But our patience is wearing thin”. Yes, those are actual words regarding mandatory vaccines and other draconian COVID measures that actually came from the food-hole of the man we actually elected to be our actual president. Seeing as how it’s not a huge stretch to joke about the paternalistic manner the DNC treats Americans, and seeing as how he’s the left’s version of George W. Bush and can’t help himself as regards verbal gaffes that really bring some joy and life to the other team’s bulletin boards, let’s riff on this one for a bit with some wholesome dad humor:
He’ll take us all out for a special treat at the A & W if we pitch in and help clean up this COVID mess.
He may have not been mindful of his words and talked too harshly because he was already in a huff about not being able to find the TV remote and drone footage of the Taliban running amok isn’t going to binge itself.
Masks are a must for COVID protection, tube socks worn with sandals and pulled all the way up are optional.
COVID put a big slice of the country on unemployed vacation. He’s going to need a vacation to recover from this vacation.
He promises to take us to Disneyland if we get the vaccine. He could be convinced to upgrade it to Disneyworld if we hold out.
When you’re grown up and moved out of his country you can make your own health and wellness decisions. But for now, his country, his rules.
He didn’t see his buddies die face down in the muck of Vietnam from the comfort of his congressional oversight committee chair to see people demand to maintain and exercise their personal liberties.
In his day, children (i.e. American citizens) respected their elders (i.e. bureaucrats and faceless government entities) and took their medicine.
(shakes fist and cane in alternating fashion from rocking chair on his front porch) “Get your vaccine. And while you’re at it, cut your hair. And wear normal sized pants. And stop making songs about butts, ya hippies!”
It’s not that hard to remember to wear a mask, by gar. Just put a case for your disposable masks next to the cellphone holder on your belt as you sport creased khaki shorts on your way to the golf course.
Don’t worry about GPS-ing directions to your local vaccine center. He’ll give you directions. Just head down main street past the train tracks, go down about three quarters of a mile and hang a Louie at the cider mill. When you come to the Miller farm, toss a Ritchie. Now you’re gonna see the stump of tree the storm of 67’ took down (that storm was a doozy, remind him to tell you about it sometime) coming up on your right. Make sure to slow down because there’s a hidden drive behind a tangle of trees that we’ve talked to those doggone Mexicans about like a hundred times but they keep talking in Mexican and we can’t understand a word they’re saying…where was I? Oh yeah, turn left in the hidden drive and flip on your high beams because the tree tunnel can choke out the light of the noonday sun. When you see a fella with a hump of a back walkin’ like he’s on his way to greet you, roll up the windows. He’s just there for some money and we don’t give bums money, right kids? Follow this road past the statue of our town’s founder and you’re there.
Whoopings are in store for anyone refusing the vaccine. Keep pushing his buttons on the matter, and he’ll make you choose the switch from one of the yearlings in the new orchard we planted last year in the back forty.
Refuse the vaccine one more time and he’ll take…he’ll tell Santa to take all your toys back. Keep it up and all fun things for 2022 will be next.
If you want to keep arguing about the vaccine he’s ready to just turn off his hearing aid until you’re ready to listen to some sense.
He doesn’t slave away all day, every day with obnoxious supervisors, coworkers, aides, and Republicans with their filibustering, stonewalling asses just to come home to listen to disrespectful children who don’t know what’s good for them catch an attitude about the vaccine. Ma Biden can deal with this mess. He’ll be down at O’Shanigans drink…not drinking himself into a jaded, alcoholic WASP stupor.
More and more, it’s looking like some rebellious and petulant anti-vaxxers are in serious need of an attitude adjustment. Y’all are close to punching your ticket on Bruisin’ Luxury Yacht lines, and he’ll be your cruise director.
If you lose your job for refusing to comply with a vaccine mandate, you’ll be unemployed like a good percentage of his constituency. That’s all he needs, more free-loaners mooching off his and Ma’s success and riding their coattails. Do they seem happy, fulfilled, and content to you? You’d think they would be, not having to work but they’re some of the unhappiest and most miserable people there are because THERE’S JUST NO PLEASING THEM!!! He’s sorry for yelling just there. He just lost control and let the bad thoughts take over. He’s going to call his sponsor and have a nice, long chat. Y’all can come out of the basement now and Ma Biden can put the bat down. It’s really okay. Pop was stressed out and thinking about Grandpa’s elixir and how much he misses it and wish Ma hadn’t poured every bottle in the drain the night of the intervention when everyone was really emotional and making really tough-to-keep promises but he’s calm now after talking to Terry (his new sponsor since Freddy fell off the wagon and was caught riding the mall carousel in his birthday suit) and everything’s going to be fine now. Dry your eyes and give Pa a hug. What’s that, honey? The neighbors did what?!? Okay, so some policemen are coming because the Ericksons can’t keep their fat noses out of the cul-de-sac’s business. If you play nice and don’t tell the cops anything about Pa losing it, we’ll give you your tablet back and go out for ice cream. Doesn’t that sound great? A little ice cream? All right, but you gotta play ball with Pa Biden and be cool.
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Image taken from:
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/biden-wearing-a-mask-is-a-sign-of-leadership-and-trumps-a-fool-2020-05-26
