Oscars so desperate for some publicity
And it worked. They got it. I didn’t watch—haven’t since the Lord of the Rings movies were in the mix—but woke up and put pen to paper today because social media is ablaze. A few years ago, the slapper’s wife was mad he didn’t get nominated for affecting an African accent and telling Roger Goodell’s character to “Tell de truf” about football concussions. She hash tagged “Oscars so white”. Now her husband is lugging a rifle to the top of the town’s water tower so as to defend her honor.
The Oscars and awards shows in general have been embarrassing themselves as of late. Those links are my making fun of them a year ago. Click on them, because I’m thirsty for clicks, but not as thirsty as the Oscars for eyeballs. I still do have some dignity.
They can’t seem to get the formula right as it comes to mining stellar ratings from self-important people sermonizing about how racist the rest of us are and occasionally tossing their friend a tiny statue. They keep the Oscar statue so small so no one can figure out just how racist he has been in the past and tear him down.
If you’re black in Hollywood, you can be scary, sassy, and/or play a character who at some point says “I’m black”, or “We black, that means a few things” or be Denzel/Will/Morgan. I’d add Anthony Mackie to that list as he’s carved out a nice little movie career playing human characters, but his Falcon guy in the Disney+ show is all about being bliggidy-black. I’ve written about that before. Those three black guys can play actual human characters. Will’s wife called Hollywood out for it, so now we have Oscars playing the “I’ve got—lemme count—four, five, six, sev…he’s not really a friend…six black friends. NOT RACIST!” game, adding diversity quotas to an awards proceedings that used to be based on merit, and merit derived from subjective metrics at that.
Now that the Oscars aren’t so white, they’ve given white people who use the word “ghetto” as code for “getting a little too black up in here” a chance to touch their forehead and hashtag Oscars so (insert any word that perpetuates negative stereotypes about black people). They’ve also given black people who like to scold other black people a chance to scold other black people about doing better. Basically anyone of any skin color that judges people collectively (seems there are more of this kind nowadays) instead of judging people individually.
A few random thoughts:
Smith slapped Rock all the way back to high school where he probably had to use his quick wit and tell a few jokes in order to escape a run-in with a muscular jock. The more life changes, the more it stays the same.
Smith slapped Rock so hard, Rock thought for a minute about getting on the street corner and stacking more cheddar for Daddy Smith.
A lot of racist white people are going to say something like “I don’t want to be invited to the cookout if that’s how they act” or something along those lines.
Smith wants folks to keep his wife’s name out of their mouth but he and his wife publicly broadcast their sexual business all over the webs, triggering the entire internet to not keep her name out of their mouth. Smith’s got some intense slapping marathon sessions ahead of him. Hope he doesn’t pull a hammy (the plant leg is key when slapping all of the internet). Only the Slap Master 8,000 can handle righteous anger slapping at such a high volume.
Raise your hand if you fervently agree Chris Rock needs to go back to the goatee.
Fresh Prince moved to Cali and still couldn’t keep out of trouble. Does he also have an auntie and uncle in Austin, TX? Might as well move there. The rest of that godforsaken coastal state which must not be named is. Let’s all await the comedic reboot and start thinking of rap rhymes for Austin.
This still won’t translate to viewers. Forty-five seconds of real life drama doesn’t cancel out the three weeks the show spends in rhetorical masturbation. Not even if there’s a cutesy skit making fun of it in next year’s show (and there will be). My money’s on Will Ferrell’s man child who can’t fight character he plays so well being part of the conceit.
Somehow, this will be spun to be the fault of white supremacy. I’m selling squares on the first pundit to use “internalized racism”.
Wonder what Putin will do now that he’s got a moment when we’re all distracted by important things like celebrity beefs.
Smith slapped Rock so hard he won’t taste food or remember basic math for a week.
Seems like a man who made a movie about irresponsible concussion protocols in the NFL should be more cognizant of slapping-related brain injuries. He should have gone with a shot to the gut or kick to the shins. The lesson would have been learned just as well without the threat of Rock acquiring dementia in the near future.
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Image taken from:
https://graziadaily.co.uk/celebrity/news/will-smith-slap-chris-rock-oscars/
