(Satire) White supremacy to blame for more black babies being born
It’s a good life being a Democrat. (breathes deeply in a smug and highly contented manner) I get to react in my emotions and ignore that pesky irritant with its unreasonable demands. What’s it called? Oh yeah, Objective Reality. I bask in the glory of knowing I’m a better person than you based solely on your age, skin color, or whether or not you are sexually attracted to someone with compatible body parts. I can make truth moldable, malleable, and able to be individually possessed by me and my likeminded friends while still demanding it be objective when it suits me in a court of law or other formal political setting.
I can objectify other humans and use them simply to get my rocks off, then go on the offensive when criticism spews out your cake-hole and accuse you of shaming me. I get to call everyone and everything that displeases me racist and/or add the appropriate prefix to “phobic”. Please kiss the ring before I talk some serious smack about you on Twitter. While you’re doing that, make with the apologizing to anyone who’s not in your victim group. Come on, I don’t have all day. There’s violent words to mostly peacefully protest against and segrega…I mean safe spaces to whip up.
Let me just say I love, love, LOOOOOVE Alyssa Milano. See, there’s a woman who gets it. Woman is how she self-identifies, right? Good. Then we’re good. She knows the game and is a model Democrat. Some of you poser Democrats could learn a thing or two from this gal. You’re all “I’m moderate and dutifully go to work every day and enjoy living and let live”. Pssh. That’s just so unobtrusive and gross. In your face is the name of today’s game, baby. Don’t be so anachronistic. Get with the times or be labeled a jive turkey. Peep game on the righteous Twitter truths she’s laying down, Daddy-O:
Today’s Supreme Court ruling overturning #RoeVsWade will have deadly consequences, with the harm falling hardest on people of color who already face disproportionate discrimination in our country and grapple with a severe maternity crisis.
If abortion is banned nationwide, pregnancy-related deaths could increase 21 percent nationwide, and 33 percent among Black women.
Banning abortion will disproportionately impact people of color, LGBTQ+ communities, people struggling to make ends meet, young people, and those living in rural areas.
Banning abortion is about controlling women and trans men. It is about white supremacy, the partriarchy and misogyny.
It’s a sad day for America.
BOOM! This entire Supreme Court of old white men has just been roasted in a savage manner, along with other cis white men who cringe when they see women and black folk speaking their minds and existing. I’d advise you go home and permanently draw the shades for shame and public embarrassment. Now I say good day to you, sir!
Overturning Roe v Wade will ban abortions nationwide, I guess. I don’t really know the ramifications. I haven’t read it. I took a stab at it once after downing a bunch of uppers and still couldn’t make my way through the legalese and lofty language. I very much prefer Twitter for my reading and writing rigor and even then, I struggle to fill or read to the end of 120 characters. But I do know this, a national abortion ban will mean more black babies being born, and we simply can’t have that.
For you see, Margaret Sanger was all about racial equality. That’s why she set up abortion mills in areas heavy with black populations. Black people are simply too stup…I mean put upon by racist forces to properly birth and raise children in this country so it must be stopped. And like any good liberal, I vote on a straight Democrat ticket because at a perfect batting average of 1,000, Democrats are better people with better ideas and better policies and Republicans don’t regularly change their underwear because my mommy told me and she don’t lie. So there.
I speak for black people because no one else will. They have no voice in the Land of the Oppressed and the Home of the Enslaved. The tens of millions of books, songs, poems, laws, activist groups, speaking engagements, scholastic appointments, and political elections they’ve written, performed, organized, inspired, given, and won are naught when put up against a good liberal angrily but righteously tweeting at 3am during a late-night-eat-my-feelings refrigerator trip. And no, I don’t have any black friends and yes, I would rectify that situation if I wasn’t worried about catching Sickle Cell and scared because that one black guy shouted me down that one time.
From a purely financial and pragmatic perspective, I suppose the slave owner of yore saw more value in black babies being born than we modern liberals. I mean, more of them are aborted in NYC than even born but that’s just how we like it. We need black people relegated to smelly, overcrowded cities and keeping their numbers down so they don’t get start getting too uppity with us and getting too many ideas about chasing the American dream and moving to places with elbow room, peaceful schools where actual learning happens, upward professional opportunities, and low crime rates.
There’s minority status and victimhood to maintain, along with handing out free stuff on your dime, you big, dumb, successful idiot. If you’re thinking I’m racist for what I’ve just written, you’re racist for thinking I’m racist because I’m a Democrat and we’ve never done, nor will do, anything racist. And we’re not projecting our own racism on Republicans just because that’s what you say we’re doing. That’s my truth and it trumps your truth because your truth is unacceptable untruth. Stop violenc-ing me with your racist words.
SECURITY! Kindly remove these racists, if you please. Rough ‘em up if you’re so inclined. They’re suffering from that horrible disease of Disagreeswithmeitis and only a little passionate chin music, summarily applied, can cure them of such a serious malady. I avoid and cancel people who disagree with me almost as fervently as I avoid black people, for whom I’ve been self-appointed as spokesperson, ally, and champion (so long as they stand over there not too close to me).
Hey there, beloved reader! Don’t stop reading yet. I enjoy writing and creating content for you. Recently, I took on the Herculean task of fixing America and wrote a book on the subject; the very literal-titled “I’ll Fix America Tonight”. There is a a link where you can conveniently add the book to your Amazon cart (if you’re flush with about $20 in cash right now) or your wish list (if around $20 in cash is a little too much right now, but hypothetically not too much in the near future). Buy it, and help end poverty (namely my poverty). Thanks for reading!
Image taken from:
https://www.queerty.com/boo-hoo-clarence-thomas-faces-consequences-actions-no-one-sheds-single-tear-20220728
