PM Trudeau disappointed that a free people would demand freedom
Now I don’t know much about Justin Trudeau and Canada, but I’m a self-indulgent blowhard of a satirical political pundit, so y’all can bet I’m not about to let lack of information and no desire to attain some stop me from having my say. I’m an American, after all. That comes standard issue with a few things; each of them even more awesome than the last. Like recklessly speaking one’s mind while driving a monster truck over, through, and around an embankment of rusty old cars which totally had it coming.
I do know the set he reps (mind you wear the right colors on their turf, hoser) is the Liberal Party. That mostly entails calling conservatives racist so as to soften the blow when super-uncool-and-super-racist photos of you come out. I also know when Joe Biden shut down the Texas Tea pipeline running from Canuckville to the United States of Awesomeness, Trudeau said he was disappointed. Now I’m no Trump supporter and I don’t like dealing in hypotheticals, but looking at the way Trump triggers liberals in such a visceral manner, one can safely presume Canada’s PM would have some stronger words to spew if Trump had cost 11,000 awfully polite union workers from Canada a few paychecks. And one will presume because one is awesome and when one gets an idea in one’s head, one won’t be told otherwise.
Any-whoo, Trudeau seems to have a bigger problem than unruly Polish pastors on his hands at this particular point in time. A lot of truckers are as tired of mask mandates as they are of college-educated-and-student-loan-debt-enslaved drones for the communist cause looking down on their profession. ‘Cause he’s got a great big convoy, Shutting down the roads. Yeah, he’s got a great big convoy, political pain it forebodes. (never said I was a songwriter, of the serious or parody variety). I’m kicking myself for not buying stock in trucker speed and those shower machines you need a roll of quarters to use. I’d imagine in the coming weeks there are bound to be plenty of lonely waitresses on the path to Ottawa who’ll see some real satisfaction in the back of many a sleeper cab but it’s none of my business when the feelings of several thousand ladies are involved.
Gotta hand it to Trudeau. Not only does he have to deal with going through life in possession of a froofy-sounding French surname, he’s got himself on the bad side of folks I wouldn’t say it’s wise to fool with. He’s poked a sleeping bear and brought a Twitter app to a gunfight. These are guys who always have a tire iron, chains, pocketknives, and a bottle of urine (you make better time peeing on the go) ready at hand. That’s quite an impressive number of things with which to menace a guy like Trudeau who sees free speech and self-determination as passing fads. Also, I’ve seen Maximum Overdrive and can logically conclude it’s just a matter of time before the big rigs gain sentience and decide they’ve had enough of burly dudes with left-arm suntans controlling the wheel and would like to give humanity’s next extinction-level event the ‘ol college try.
But like any good liberal, Trudeau sees no need in necessary things like keeping our shipping lanes and supply chains running, robust, and efficient because we can all use COVID as an excuse to sit at home and feed, house, and clothe our kids with empty government promises (hope that also includes entertaining them when they’re being super-annoying). Maybe if I create and identify as the new “full-bellied” gender, change my pronouns to “Perpetually Sated”, and imagine I’m eating a feast like the lost boys in Hook, I can change reality, mold truth to my liking, save Tinkerbell’s life (clap really hard and believe, you guys), and be a real liberal boy with all his needs met and at peace with everyone who accepts my opinions and fantasies and delusions as truth because that’s what they are.
Like any good hero, he’s quietly and stealthily vacated Ottawa. Not because of the scary guys with bushy beards and grease-stained Carhartt’s, mind you. He just…had…a last minute thing…with the mechanic in charge of keeping his car’s…schlimmyflange at the base of the flogderdoink in working order that just happened to coincide with this frightening incursion. Smoke bomb!
Trudeau’s got to be more than a little frustrated. I mean, after all, come on! Do a people who elected him to responsibly form and lead a government really have the right to gainsay him every time he steps on their freedoms and intrudes into their private lives? Wish people would stop insisting on privacy anyway. Some bearded guy by the name of Marx told me it’s overrated. We’d never get anything done if everyone actually believed and acted accordingly in their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of that gross thing which doesn’t outweigh your social responsibility to save lives by not passing a virus you often don’t even know you’ve got.
(read in crusty old man voice) Back in my day, you victimized someone when you pointed a gun at them and stole their wallet, not unknowingly passed a virus. But these kids are so soft nowadays with their erstwhile baggy and now skintight pants, Tweeters, slutty pictures on Instabook, and (feel free to add any other old man clichés you’d like). Feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh yeah! (shakes cane) By gar, I’ll give yer backside a good whoopin’ you’ll not soon forget if’n I see you on my lawn trying to push that DNA-altering needle in my arm again! If you knew what was good for you, you’d hotfoot it out of here and take that crazy buttinsky from New York with ya!
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Image taken from:
https://globalnews.ca/news/8579418/justin-trudeau-trucker-convoy-violence-ottawa/
