I’ve never been in a context where I could punctuate a demand with “You have 24 hours”. I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.
All in Humor
Fitness expert schooled by Twitter mob on his personal health
Joe actually dared take drugs the graduates of the Twitter School of Medicine didn’t approve of.
The Taliban's leader is on Twitter and his feed is absolute FIRE
I’m about to declare a jihad on anyone who overuses “I’m about to declare a jihad on (insert annoying thing)” jokes, thereby trivializing the word.
Current generation showing there's wiggle room on TLC's "No Scrubs" rule
Not too Many and not too Few Scrubs. The Perfect Number of Scrubs.
Twitter mob cancels Taliban, makes them apologize for mean things
The Canceling be on thy and thy children’s heads. Thou hast been warned.
Liberal actor flabbergasted to discover republicans are actually human
“Their pants don’t wreak of their own dried and crusty fecal leavings.”
White guy suspended from job while other white people decide if he's racist
Was the offending party straight, white, and male? He might as well throw a pitchfork at himself.
Taliban fell statue of historic figure; irony completely lost on these ANTIFA bozos
You know that the men who fought in World War II were ANTIFA, right?
US Government on the lookout for its next costly geopolitical blunder
It’s the government’s money. Who are we to tell them what to do with it?
The Patriarchy should put a stop to these mental health scams
We men just go out there and be men. If that’s mentally unhealthy, I don’t want to be the other thing.
Bezos building Amazon hub in space to evade even more taxation
I’m sure while he was up there he paid some cosmic entity to pelt him with gamma rays so he could acquire all of the Fantastic Four’s powers.
Unknown athlete from insignificant sport does what heroes do
Liberals really are smarter than the rest of us.
Critical Race Theory Monster used to scare conservative children into eating vegetables
I hate white people, Professor Fleen. On them, I am not too keen.
Producers of The Purge movies super-jazzed about Defund the Police movement
Michael Bay was happy to do the interview as he didn’t have anything on his plate for today other than polishing his gun.
Champion of workplace equality is taking modeling jobs away from prettier women
Megan Rapinoe is going to be a Victoria’s Secrete model because real life can’t seem to stop doing favors for satirists nowadays.
We should start a Karen dating service
Or, we could make an Amazing Race-esque program where Karens are in a desperate frenzy to be the first one to speak to the manager.
John Kerry loans Kamala Harris his pair of flip flops
Well played, Madam Vice (but soon to be in total command once she gets that old, creepy racist out of the way) President.
I've been victimized by all the folks jockeying for victim status.
I’m a victim of victims constantly claiming they are victims. I don’t got this. I can’t do this alone.