Equity program has gov't sharing their stash with other crackheads
I wish I was as good at writing jokes as Democrats are at writing them for me. Then I might actually call myself funny, start a career as a comedian, go on tour, get really famous, draw the ire of jealous people who can’t achieve anything without vilifying and taking away from someone more successful, consequently be canceled for making actual jokes about protected classes, have my ability to earn money taken away—and by proxy my livelihood—stumble and wander into the valleys of life, pawn my valuables for quick cash, get really discouraged, fall into a clinical depression, cope the wrong way by taking up a drug habit, hit rock bottom, figuratively reach out my hand to the government for help, and quite literally be handed a pipe for sinking deeper into said addicting and destructive habit.
If you click on that last link you’ll find that Biden’s Racial Equity Program is going to use $30 million of the money the government forcibly seizes from you after you’ve worked hard for it but before you’ve determined what to do with it because it’s their money and you’re too stupid to decide what to do with it and they’ve got some ideas and won’t be gainsaid on the matter. Take all the umbrage you’d like but don’t bother clutching your guns. They solve and protect exactly nothing and no one. The people of Canada and Australia gave theirs up and it seems to be working out for them.
So the government is going to solve racial inequality by handing crack pipes to crackheads. Excuse the harsh, uncompassionate, non-doublespeak language. Let’s think up a softer euphemism and make it a thing that people who’d like to think themselves as magnanimous would say. Got it! The adulthood-and-healthy-teeth challenged. I’m a liberal in that I say drug addicts need compassion, not scorn or disdain (what I say in this piece notwithstanding). Apparently compassion for drug addicts manifests in a multitude of ways, like making it easier and more convenient for them to consume drugs. And we’re going to solve their lowly socioeconomic status by encouraging them to feed the monkey; the very thing that keeps them in said status? I’m about to have a stroke so forgive me as my language center malfunctions and I devolve into idle blather. Something, something, circular reasoning and that picture of a snake eating its own tail.
I’ve a few thoughts on this. First of all, racial inequality? The link above mentions black people in the same breath as the pipe kits being handed out. Some of the black people I’ve known in my life don’t appreciate crack being stereotypically associated with their entire race (a fair objection). Other black people I’ve known think the government introduced crack to the inner cities in order to help keep black people down (a fair supposition). But don’t mind me. I regard humans as individuals and don’t think anyone should talk on behalf or down on any other group based on trifling and insignificant distinctions (insert that popular picture of Kermit the Frog drinking tea).
Biden really is brazen with this association. Where does he get off? Doesn’t he see black people as individuals equal to him and not a monolith of negative characteristics? Oh yeah. And, also, oh yeah. In addition, oh yeah. He’s not racist, though. He reported to a black president and now has a black vice president who reports to him. That proves it, even though he’s not really fond of having them over for dinner for other reasons he won’t get into right now.
I’m a conservative who admits the existence of white privilege, even though I break from liberals by claiming at least part of the privilege is built and bolstered by more than just the clandestine and insidious efforts of some bad white people. I got a lot of likes but also a lot of hate for that one. I despise the Republican party nearly on the same level as the Democrat party so I don’t even advocate black people vote for the GOP in hopes of racial equity. I don’t even advocate they stop voting for Democrats. I advocate they stop voting for Democrats in hopes of government ever achieving their equity or getting ahead, much better non-government options being readily apparent and available. I submit as evidence for my argument THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!!! But hey, two of the crack addicts I’ve had run-ins with were white, so at least they’re…I’m not sure what they’re doing in relation to this but we can’t abide race not being sewn into every discussion, so there’s that.
Part of the rational for handing pipe kits to jittery folks who always seem in a hurry to nowhere in particular is that it’ll cut down on lip cuts from poorly maintained pipes and infections stemming from poorly cleaned pipes that are puff-puff-passed on dee left hand side. I live in Flint, MI. The crack and meth flows here like candy. I’ve been hassled for money, contributed to recovery program counseling sessions, been stolen from, hassled again, shoved them out of my face, been screamed at when I refused to hand over money, had my life threatened with what is a horrible excuse of a knife, offered to take them to rehab, been sworn to that my money won’t be used for drugs, been offered sexual favors for money, been asked to be pimp for a day while they make money for drugs, etc. I have a bit of experience. I’ve looked into the sullen, sunken eyes of drug addicts, regarded their sallow, dried skin, and not once heard from their mouth any words constituting genuine concern over lip health and avoidance to pesky infections.
That’s because it’s not important to them. Getting a little bit of cash for that next hit is important to them. It’s all that matters to them most of the day. I’ve been in a few drug dens. Nowhere to be found was a certified medical professional overseeing sterile “shoving off” conditions. Maybe addressing the root cause of the infections and unsanitary pipes is what the government should be doing with the charity money they forcibly seize from me and in the process violate the explicit definition of the word “charity”. Wait, they do fund rehab programs, right?
So let me get this straight. Government officials are going to hand over adorable little smoking kits (the cases come with a Transformer or Barbie decal option) and demonstrate the proper way to clean and store your party tools. One wonders if helpful training videos with actors who wish they had made it to the big time will be employed on how to properly inhale that premo dank. Then they’re going to turn around and say that you should get off these illicit and destructive substances and offer a free stay at a detox facility to do so.
They’re using some of our money to engage in efforts that are counterproductive to efforts funded by some of our money. To some, government is always right even when it contradicts itself. These “some” I’d like to label as idiots who idiotically worship government because they’re idiots. While we’re working on developing cloning technology can we focus on cloning George Orwell? I’m looking forward to seeing that vein in his forehead explode after he shouts “WEREN’T YOU PEOPLE LISTENING TO ME? I LAID IT ALL OUT FOR YOU IN THAT ONE BOOK FOR ADULTS AND THAT OTHER BOOK FOR KIDS!”
Or maybe he’ll take the less extroverted route and canvass the neighborhood. (Orwell knocks on your front door) “Pardon the intrusion during what appears to be a delicious dinner with your lovely family but may I please stick my head in your microwave? My microwave is busted from my having stuck my head in it so many times trying to make sense of these modern times.”
Are they going to hand chocolate eclairs to fat people then offer to tickle their throats so they vomit them back up? Are they going to tickle the throats of the bulimic then hand them chocolate eclairs? Take the anorexic to places where there’s no food then deliver them crates of food? Teach people who cut how to properly dress their self-inflicted wounds with bandages and antibacterial ointment then offer them new, sharper, rust resistant razor blades? Withhold attention from Britney Spears and other needy, oversharing celebrities one day then smother them with attention the next? Wean obsessive gamers off PlayStation 5 and gift them an Xbox for their birthday? Rescind the Netflix membership to super-bingers but pay for a Disney+ subscription? Get porn addicts away from their home computers and house them next to discount strip clubs? Replace that elderly, venerated, and wise mentor in your life with Keith Richards? Angrily smack the beer can out of the hands of alcoholics and introduce them to the finest whiskeys Scotland has to offer? Displace all the black people within a twenty mile radius of white supremacists and replace them with Asian people? Remove LeBron James’ ability to hear his own voice and then replace it with the ability to hear his own voice?
These all sound like totally prudent and wise uses of my money. Whoops, sorry. Sarcasm doesn’t translate well over print. That sentence was sarcasm. I can’t believe I’ve gotten this far without making a joke about this program giving Hunter Biden a job. Here goes. Hunter Biden is a crackhead and is going to use this program as a means of achieving and maintaining gainful employment, having finally found a job he’s good at and can really be passionate about. There. You happy? Because I’m far from it.
Hey there, beloved reader! Don’t stop reading yet. I enjoy writing and creating content for you. Recently, I took on the Herculean task of fixing America and wrote a book on the subject; the very literal-titled I’ll Fix America Tonight. There is a a link where you can conveniently add the book to your Amazon cart (if you’re flush with about $20 in cash right now) or your wish list (if around $20 in cash is a little too much right now, but hypothetically not too much in the near future). Buy it, and help end poverty (namely my poverty). Thanks for reading!
Image taken from:
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/mar/25/hunter-biden-gun-cover-up-secret-service
