If I ever meet John Cena, I’ll probably bully him a little bit and threaten him with Chinese retribution if he retaliates.
All in Political Commentary
Young peoples' new drug of choice is getting run over by cars
Enjoy the sweet emotional and mental release blunt force trauma to the brain introduces into your life.
If you want to be called "brave" nowadays, just do violence to words.
If you can’t be bothered with putting together a valid argument or even a cogent sentence, just scream racism.
Oh good, it's been a minute since our last horrible thing
It’s been a minute since far leftists have had a chance to put their antisemitism on display.
Computer dude who makes machines which track our activity is asking for privacy
I’ve got to get his vaccine with his nanobots, and yet he can’t keep his personal life in order?
Be comforted; Orwell's Thought Police have arrived.
I, for one, couldn’t be more excited.
Let's rename "kneejerk reaction" to "The LeBron"
When he reacts to an event, he needs an outlet for his emotions. He can’t just talk about it with his friends and family! Don’t be gross.
Now Hiring Professional Victims-straight, white, Christian men need not apply.
Must be unable to pass a drug screening or get out of bed before 10am.
Just use the logic of the left next time you do something terrible
“These places are insured for that kind of thing.” next time you steal a luxury item you don’t need and can’t afford from a local retailer.
Lip Service enjoying early retirement; having been paid so much
“Whenever a republican talks about unifying the country after running a brazenly nasty, mudslinging, wham-dinger of a campaign, I get paid.”
Let's convince Democrats that wearing masks is cultural appropriation
Weak logic, you say? Imagine how conservatives feel when confronted by logic from the left.
Michigan man escapes zombie virus by sitting down at restaurant table
“I’ve always been a quick thinker, so I applied COVID pandemic logic to the dilemma.”
Satire-POTUS befuddled by black family that has WIFI, able to log onto internet
Due to the earthshaking implications of this story, we called him on the red phone.
Senate Majority Leadership to Introduce Personal Code of Conduct for GOP.
…a bill detailing and enforcing a personal code of conduct for GOP senators, representatives, aides, lobbyists, and anyone who has ever mentioned Donald Trump in a positive light on their social media.
Mariah Carey-"Liberal Entertainment Industry is Inherently Racist; Has to be Republicans' Fault"
“I’m a slave and oppressed just like my ancestors. I was ruminating on this as my chauffeur drove me around today.”
