I’m sure while he was up there he paid some cosmic entity to pelt him with gamma rays so he could acquire all of the Fantastic Four’s powers.
All in satire
Unknown athlete from insignificant sport does what heroes do
Liberals really are smarter than the rest of us.
Critical Race Theory Monster used to scare conservative children into eating vegetables
I hate white people, Professor Fleen. On them, I am not too keen.
Producers of The Purge movies super-jazzed about Defund the Police movement
Michael Bay was happy to do the interview as he didn’t have anything on his plate for today other than polishing his gun.
Champion of workplace equality is taking modeling jobs away from prettier women
Megan Rapinoe is going to be a Victoria’s Secrete model because real life can’t seem to stop doing favors for satirists nowadays.
We should start a Karen dating service
Or, we could make an Amazing Race-esque program where Karens are in a desperate frenzy to be the first one to speak to the manager.
John Kerry loans Kamala Harris his pair of flip flops
Well played, Madam Vice (but soon to be in total command once she gets that old, creepy racist out of the way) President.
I've been victimized by all the folks jockeying for victim status.
I’m a victim of victims constantly claiming they are victims. I don’t got this. I can’t do this alone.
China scolds musclebound actor, turns him into whimpering girly-man
If I ever meet John Cena, I’ll probably bully him a little bit and threaten him with Chinese retribution if he retaliates.
Tim Tebow replaces Chuck Norris as the guy with all the farfetched legends about him
We have to face the uncomfortable truth that Chuck Norris is going to die someday.
Young peoples' new drug of choice is getting run over by cars
Enjoy the sweet emotional and mental release blunt force trauma to the brain introduces into your life.
If you want to be called "brave" nowadays, just do violence to words.
If you can’t be bothered with putting together a valid argument or even a cogent sentence, just scream racism.
Oh good, it's been a minute since our last horrible thing
It’s been a minute since far leftists have had a chance to put their antisemitism on display.
Computer dude who makes machines which track our activity is asking for privacy
I’ve got to get his vaccine with his nanobots, and yet he can’t keep his personal life in order?
Be comforted; Orwell's Thought Police have arrived.
I, for one, couldn’t be more excited.
Polish pastor from Calgary being courted by Avengers and Justice League
“I feel like the pretties badass at the ball.”
Oscar Statue taking time to reflect after publicly embarrassing himself
The latest Oscars ceremony got fewer viewers than App of the Week reviews on YouTube.