VP Harris using her #BlackGirlMagic to conjure laughably bad approval ratings
Now I’m no Republican. I don’t have a dog in the current political fights. But I did kick my blogging into high gear in 2020 when an extremely-ripe-for-parody administration got all dressed up and hit the town, so they’re fixin’ to take some chin music from me over the next few years. Any hardcore Democrats triggered by my jokes can reflect on the fact that I’ve got just as many jokes about Trump and much of his nonsense, deal with it like an adult, and move on without getting all toddler-in-the-candy-aisle about it. Or not. I know we live in atrociously codependent times when no one is personally responsible for anything they do/say/feel, but it will always be true that your emotions are on you. I think I just came up with the first line for the next Dr. Seuss-esque life lesson book for kids.
Kamala Harris is hovering around 28% approval. That’s lower than Dick Cheney’s and he shot a guy who had the audacity to get in the line of fire between our former creepy old vice president and his next delicious bird-themed meal! I’d be embarrassed to step outside and do…whatever it is she does with those numbers. It’d be pizza rolls and binge-watching Flamboyant Decorators Berate Guys Who Dress for Comfort, not Fashion or whatever other retarded nonsense (Dave Chappelle lovingly excluded from previous phrase) Netflix wants to shovel into my brain-mouth after I draw the shades and avoid going outside. It’d be more than safe to assume the flamboyant decorators enjoy sexual congress with men but you didn’t need to be told that. Either that or whatever celebrity’s life TMZ wants me to get mixed up in and post hashtags about today because I’m American and I make good choices with my television viewing time.
So is her Black Girl Magic running low on hit points? Has the Black Girl Magic met the business end of Scorpion’s spiked-rope-and-uppercut attack? Is the Black Girl Magic really putting in the work on the elliptical but not keeping its electrolytes up? Is it Monday and does her Black Girl Magic hate Mondays? Does the Black Girl Magic game have in-app purchases and she won’t shell out the dough because she’s a grinder? Did Voldemort’s expertise and cunning in the Dark Arts cancel out her Black Girl Magic? Was the One Ring tossed into the fires of Mount Doom, thereby diminishing and eventually destroying the power her Black Girl Magic ring; (insert Elvish-sounding name), holds? Did her Black Girl Magic say some dumb crap about LGBTQWERTY people and get canceled on Twitter? I’m almost done mining this joke for gold, I swear. Did her Black Girl Magic have a strong series premiere but plummet in the ratings during sweeps? There, done.
Before I decided to make grown-up money, I was a teacher. I taught English, not Social Studies. That means you can’t quote me on the next supposition. A Vice President doesn’t have to do much but exist and sit next to the Speaker of the House once a year in January. And usually their approval ratings are close to the President’s, and he’s gotten nothing but sass and trouble from all these conservative mischief makers. Why are her numbers so bad, even much more so than his? Obvious answer; racism. Short answer; racism. Answer of intermediate length; Amerikkka’s intolerance and hatred of brown people. Long answer; white supremacy with a pinch of sexism perpetuated by a patriarchy which apparently continues to succeed in its dastardly scheme to avoid being pegged. I could go on at length about what she’s done and how poorly she’s done it, but that’ll take time and effort so let’s chalk it up to racism and leave it at that. Golly Goodness Whillicker Doodlecakes, being a Democrat pundit is easy.
Seems like it’d be hard for Kamala to work for a geriatric septuagenarian she labeled racist when they were running in the primaries against each other. Seems like a white supremacist system that intends on winnowing black people is wildly inefficient and ineffective at its job, unless the parts of the system controlled and operated by the left purposefully keep black people down so as to keep them perpetually victimized but y’all not ready for that conversation. Seems like a country that is 65% people who are 100% racist is the place for non-white immigrants to avoid, not flock here in gaudy numbers. But, what do I know? I’m just a dumb, racist white guy. Not sure I’m even allowed an opinion on the matter.
Published on November 19, 2020 (you can find it here) as Trump was ramping up his Stop the Steal campaign, was Black Girl Magic: A Black Children’s Coloring Book, to be found in the Amazon subgenre enttiled “Black Children’s Coloring Books”. Now call me obtuse if you want to, gross if you must, and racist if you insist, but a book and book subgenre (and safe spaces, and colleges, and rhetoric, and dorms, etc.) containing racially exclusionary language coming from the end of the political spectrum whose genitals get all chubby reminding us of the Jim Crow laws and segregation (which their end of the political spectrum enacted and upheld for more than a minute), and who fanatically sermonize on intolerance but have spent the last ten years hypocritically encouraging and spreading hatred toward white people could have something to do with some folks’ growing impatience and exhaustion with that silly and discordant conglomerate of cannibalistic tribes you call a party. But hey, that’s just me spit-balling in all my unacceptable, fit to be silenced, 1st Amendment doesn’t apply to me, straight white male grossness.
And remember, you Democrats and leftists that have braved my unacceptable jokes and gotten this far, I’m no Republican. I’ve got plenty of problems with them as well. At such a time Trump gets reelected (barf) or Ron DeSantis elbow drops the 2024 vote, I’ll deal them all of the jokes they deserve and my limited wit can contrive.
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Image taken from:
https://www.biography.com/news/kamala-harris-facts