When he reacts to an event, he needs an outlet for his emotions. He can’t just talk about it with his friends and family! Don’t be gross.
All in satire
Now Hiring Professional Victims-straight, white, Christian men need not apply.
Must be unable to pass a drug screening or get out of bed before 10am.
Just use the logic of the left next time you do something terrible
“These places are insured for that kind of thing.” next time you steal a luxury item you don’t need and can’t afford from a local retailer.
Marxist BLM founder destroying capitalism by doing better at it than most
She’s entered the official tax bracket of “baller”.
Absolutely dreadful people thankful to racists for getting all the attention
“Gotta hand it to you, racists, you sure know how to take one for the team!”
Try these topical clap-backs next time someone comes at you, bro
I needed your dumb opinion on this comment thread like I needed those cute shoes I just got off Amazon.
Lip Service enjoying early retirement; having been paid so much
“Whenever a republican talks about unifying the country after running a brazenly nasty, mudslinging, wham-dinger of a campaign, I get paid.”
The land of Narnia should host the MLB All Star Game
Is baseball still a distant third in TV ratings behind basketball and football? We can work with that.
Let's convince Democrats that wearing masks is cultural appropriation
Weak logic, you say? Imagine how conservatives feel when confronted by logic from the left.
Breaking News-Social media user actually reads entire Facebook rants
(shudders in disgust) “Why would you do something like that!?”
Michigan man escapes zombie virus by sitting down at restaurant table
“I’ve always been a quick thinker, so I applied COVID pandemic logic to the dilemma.”
Prince Harry advances feminism by asking Meghan permission to have an opinion
Harry: Megasaurus, may I laugh also?
The Mom from Mrs. Doubtfire is Cancelled because I'm Thirsty for Clicks
Sally Field should have had foresight. To play a horrible role like the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire and not expect to be cancelled twenty-eight years later?
Breaking News: A bunch of weirdoes handled conflicts without pulling out their phones
Some people just won’t do things the way most of us do it. Does that make them weird and gross? Yes.
Slaveowner time travels forward, totally digs the way liberals treat black conservatives
His Google searches were typically geared at seeing white and black leftists pull out their phone and vehemently excoriate, berate, and shout down black conservative voices.
Satire-POTUS befuddled by black family that has WIFI, able to log onto internet
Due to the earthshaking implications of this story, we called him on the red phone.
Satire-Snowflakes can now get paid to scrub old movies for offensive content!
We’re not fascists. Those who disagree with us, get shouted down by us, and have their shop windows smashed by us are fascists.
Senate Majority Leadership to Introduce Personal Code of Conduct for GOP.
…a bill detailing and enforcing a personal code of conduct for GOP senators, representatives, aides, lobbyists, and anyone who has ever mentioned Donald Trump in a positive light on their social media.
Mariah Carey-"Liberal Entertainment Industry is Inherently Racist; Has to be Republicans' Fault"
“I’m a slave and oppressed just like my ancestors. I was ruminating on this as my chauffeur drove me around today.”
