When he reacts to an event, he needs an outlet for his emotions. He can’t just talk about it with his friends and family! Don’t be gross.
Now Hiring Professional Victims-straight, white, Christian men need not apply.
Must be unable to pass a drug screening or get out of bed before 10am.
Just use the logic of the left next time you do something terrible
“These places are insured for that kind of thing.” next time you steal a luxury item you don’t need and can’t afford from a local retailer.
American people to consider common-sense government control reforms
“My subordinates in Washington and on the local level are really messing up and not staying in their lane lately.”
Marxist BLM founder destroying capitalism by doing better at it than most
She’s entered the official tax bracket of “baller”.
Absolutely dreadful people thankful to racists for getting all the attention
“Gotta hand it to you, racists, you sure know how to take one for the team!”
Try these topical clap-backs next time someone comes at you, bro
I needed your dumb opinion on this comment thread like I needed those cute shoes I just got off Amazon.
I think it's time we started seeing other viruses.
Sweetheart, my whole world has been COVID-19 since you stepped on the scene.
Lip Service enjoying early retirement; having been paid so much
“Whenever a republican talks about unifying the country after running a brazenly nasty, mudslinging, wham-dinger of a campaign, I get paid.”
The land of Narnia should host the MLB All Star Game
Is baseball still a distant third in TV ratings behind basketball and football? We can work with that.
Let's convince Democrats that wearing masks is cultural appropriation
Weak logic, you say? Imagine how conservatives feel when confronted by logic from the left.
Breaking News-Social media user actually reads entire Facebook rants
(shudders in disgust) “Why would you do something like that!?”
2nd Fyre Festival to be held during ongoing border cris...opportunity
By the standards of the HBO Max app, the Fyre Festival didn’t go all that badly.
Satirists file for unemployment because real life is becoming too exaggerated.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, Oh yeah, and out of work satirists
For just $2/day, you can save a starving awards show.
“We tell the common man what trashy, racist pieces of s$&% they are on a regular basis, that you can clearly see we’re doing our part.”
Michigan man escapes zombie virus by sitting down at restaurant table
“I’ve always been a quick thinker, so I applied COVID pandemic logic to the dilemma.”
Prince Harry advances feminism by asking Meghan permission to have an opinion
Harry: Megasaurus, may I laugh also?
The Mom from Mrs. Doubtfire is Cancelled because I'm Thirsty for Clicks
Sally Field should have had foresight. To play a horrible role like the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire and not expect to be cancelled twenty-eight years later?
Breaking News: A bunch of weirdoes handled conflicts without pulling out their phones
Some people just won’t do things the way most of us do it. Does that make them weird and gross? Yes.
Slaveowner time travels forward, totally digs the way liberals treat black conservatives
His Google searches were typically geared at seeing white and black leftists pull out their phone and vehemently excoriate, berate, and shout down black conservative voices.